Well, I've been really sick recently and now that I've been starting to feel better I was in such a good mood. And when I get in good moods, I tend to get a lil cheeky. I started cheeking S. which he thought was quite funny at first and then I went a bit too far and I complained, saying I wanted a spanking. He asked if I needed a punishment and I said I did. S said to me that all I had to do was ask, instead of trying to push him to give me one. He said he would give me a punishment for being so cheeky (I sent him a photo of me sticking my tongue out at him) and so he made me stand in the bathroom with curry and a peg placed on my tongue. He asked if that was enough, to help me feel more settled. I said yes but he thought I needed more, so he set me a task for the next day to stick my tongue out every time someone said my name (except for my boss). He thought a silly and immature task would suit me since I was acting silly and immature. Today, I was supposed to do the task but I did it very half-heartedly. Sometimes I did it and sometimes I didnt. He asked why and I admitted it was just beause I didnt want to. He said I had to learn that I had to obey him, whether I wanted to or not So, he set out another, much harder, punishment tonight. I had to write lines!! I had to write out 100 times about performing every task he assigned. I also now have to send him three photos of me a day to show my dedication and respect. I now, also have to ask him permission every time I want to cum!!! (thats a hard one). While I was writing the lines, I wasnt allowed the tv on which meant I missed watching the news and my favourite tv shows, which he knows hit me hard.
So, I just finished the lines and I rang him to apologise as while writing the lines, I really did think about my actions and I know I did the wrong thing and I felt so bad. He wondered whether I kind of self-sabotaged today because I needed more of a punishment and I think he was right. I needed a serious punishment, cos last night's wasn't too bad. This one was. My hand hurts from all the writing and it was such a waste of time AND I missed watching my fav show!! I have certainly learnt my lesson.
I also feel better. I havent seen my honey for six weeks since my planned visit last weekend had to be cancelled since I was sick. So six weeks without seeing him and without being spanked or punished. With all the stress in my life, I just need that grounding and I havent got it. So, by being punished tonight I feel much more centred in my life, more submissive towards him and calmer, much calmer. And I just love him even more. I love him more and more each day. He understands what I need and is getting stricter and stricter with me, which I need and love, even though I think he doesnt like being so strict with me cos he hates to see me hurting. I always cry when I'm truly repentant and I dont think he likes that either. But he knows its not about what we want, its about what we need, and I need routine and strictness while he needs me to be exactly who I am. I do love him so *cuddles, honey* Thank you my love xx
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