Mixing It Up

I dont even remember what I did wrong this time . . oh hang on, I do. I refused to send photos to him over the phone. Well, its not like I refused, I was just being cheeky and telling him no. I guess I was "cheekin' for a spankin'" forgetting that he's too far away to give me a spanking, and he would have to resort to more creative means to get his meaning across that he meant business.

So anyway, I had to get out of my nice warm comfy Care Bear jammies, out of bed and go put one of my "big girl" silk strappy nightgowns on. Then I had to give myself an enema. Then I had to put a buttplug in for the whole night- eurgh!! And then S told me the worst part, that I have to wear a buttplug to bed every night until I come home (another 4 nights!!) AND I'm not allowed to cum til I see him either. Groan. Why do I goad him so??? At the time, all I want is some attention in the form of strictness and punishment, but then when you actually get what you asked for . . . . its more fun when you are just reading about it in stories.

You know what was strange? Well, this is defintely a big girl punishment, and like my story I wrote earlier, S is trying to get me to accept big girl punishments while being a "big girl" so after my punishment and i went to bed, I asked if I could have my teddy and first he said no, cos I had to be a big girl and I just got punished like a big girl. Later he relented, and said I could have teddy.

Its funny, I'm so relieved I was allowed to have my teddy to go to sleep cos I dont think I could  of otherwise, but on the other hand, I understand that he said no at first, I couldnt have my teddy cos I should have been in "big girl" phase, and really, I accepted that as part of the punishment.

Strange, how I mix up these "lil girl" and "big girl" ideas and feelings, when before I met S it was one or the other, I was either being me or I was having a "lil girl" session and as soon as that sesion finished, then that part of me was over til next time. I'm sure my "lil girl" side comes out way more often now cos S makes me feel so safe and comfortable with it all.  Interesting. I think it will work better when we're living together- hurry up December!!