Mixing It Up

I dont even remember what I did wrong this time . . oh hang on, I do. I refused to send photos to him over the phone. Well, its not like I refused, I was just being cheeky and telling him no. I guess I was "cheekin' for a spankin'" forgetting that he's too far away to give me a spanking, and he would have to resort to more creative means to get his meaning across that he meant business.

So anyway, I had to get out of my nice warm comfy Care Bear jammies, out of bed and go put one of my "big girl" silk strappy nightgowns on. Then I had to give myself an enema. Then I had to put a buttplug in for the whole night- eurgh!! And then S told me the worst part, that I have to wear a buttplug to bed every night until I come home (another 4 nights!!) AND I'm not allowed to cum til I see him either. Groan. Why do I goad him so??? At the time, all I want is some attention in the form of strictness and punishment, but then when you actually get what you asked for . . . . its more fun when you are just reading about it in stories.

You know what was strange? Well, this is defintely a big girl punishment, and like my story I wrote earlier, S is trying to get me to accept big girl punishments while being a "big girl" so after my punishment and i went to bed, I asked if I could have my teddy and first he said no, cos I had to be a big girl and I just got punished like a big girl. Later he relented, and said I could have teddy.

Its funny, I'm so relieved I was allowed to have my teddy to go to sleep cos I dont think I could  of otherwise, but on the other hand, I understand that he said no at first, I couldnt have my teddy cos I should have been in "big girl" phase, and really, I accepted that as part of the punishment.

Strange, how I mix up these "lil girl" and "big girl" ideas and feelings, when before I met S it was one or the other, I was either being me or I was having a "lil girl" session and as soon as that sesion finished, then that part of me was over til next time. I'm sure my "lil girl" side comes out way more often now cos S makes me feel so safe and comfortable with it all.  Interesting. I think it will work better when we're living together- hurry up December!!

The Best Place In The World

The place I feel safest, the best place in the world, is in S's lap. When I get to snuggle in there, with my head tucked under his chin, my ear pressed up against his chest, my arms and legs curled up against him . . . sigh. Whats not to love? His hands slide down to stroke my hair and he leans down to kiss the top of my head. His arms wrap around me and I feel safe, warm, loved, like nothing bad could ever happen again.

Hehe, I guess i'm missing him, especially tonight, cos as well as being 8 hours away like usual, he's also working a night shift, so I dont even get him on chat or on the phone, talking to me as I fall asleep.

Thank you S, for making me the happiest girl in the world! xx

An Adult Punishment

“Jerry?”

“Yes love?”

Abbey came and sat on his lap, ducking her head under his chin, to rest on his chest. Jerry’s arms wrapped around her and started playing with her long brown hair, that shimmered down her back like a huge wave.

“I feel bad.”

Jerry looked down at the top of her head and kissed it, murmuring into her hair, “Why do you feel bad? Do you feel sick?”

“Not that kind of bad.” Abbey sat up a little to look into Jerry’s eyes, “I did something wrong.”

Jerry searched into her big green eyes, “Maybe you should tell me.”

Abbey nodded and looked down, starting to play with Jerry’s shirt buttons, delaying the moment as much as possible.

Jerry reached down under her chin, making her lift her head to look into his eyes. His other hand covered her fidgeting fingers, making her concentrate on the moment, “Baby, do you need to go stand in the corner? Think about it a bit?”

Abbey shook her head, trying to look down again, “I don’t need a little girl punishment, I might need a big girl punishment.”

Jerry looked at her puzzled. Abbey had a “little girl” side which he loved to indulge. When she was naughty, usually it was because she was being childish and so he would punish her like a child, with spankings, corner time, mouth-washings and diapers. He couldn’t remember a time he had to punish her as a big girl. Of course, they would play big girl games, with dildos, whips, handcuffs and harsh fuckings, but punish her as a big girl? This would be a new one.

Jerry looked into her face, concerned, searching for her meaning, “Sweetheart, you are going to have to explain that one to me. What did you do wrong? I will decide what punishment you need.”

Abbey bit down on her lip and her eyes swelled with unspilt tears, “ I lied to you.”

Jerry frowned. Lying was one of the things that made him the most upset, “What did you lie about?”

Abbey used the opportunity to look down into her lap again, “I had a cum yesterday without asking permission. Actually I had three. ”

Jerry looked at her, confused. She had always asked permission to play with herself. Yes, she was a little greedy sometimes and always very needy, but he had always let her when she asked.  He couldn’t understand why she wouldn’t ask him first, why she lied to him last night when he wondered why her dildo had been left out.

“Go to our room. Sit on the bed. Don’t get off. Close the door.”

Abbey’s tears spilled over and she sobbed as she leapt to obey, running to their room and softly closing the door behind her, though her crying could not be muffled.

Jerry pondered what he should do. Usually it was so easy. He would send her to the corner of the lounge room or her little girl punishment room. He would pull her panties down and spank her little bottom red. If she had been really bad, she would get her mouth washed out, or maybe be forced into diapers and a nap on her lil girl bed. But there was nothing little girl about this.

Jerry sighed and walked towards their bedroom. There was only one thing to do. A big girl punishment, something she didn’t like. And he couldn’t leave her any longer, the abandonment would destroy her.

As he opened the door, he nearly forgot all thoughts of punishment and just wanted to sweep her into his arms. She was a mess. She was curled into a little ball, shaking and rocking, crying and sobbing, leaving her white t-shirt soaked. Jerry climbed up onto the bed and leaned back against the headrest. She watched him through her tears, wanting so much to curl up into his arms.

“Abbey, stop crying.”

His harshness surprised her and scared her. She hated when he was angry, hated when he raised his voice. When she was usually getting punished, he would use a calm, firm but gentle tone so as not to scare her. She was scared now.

“Abigail, you did a bad thing. An adult bad thing, so I wont be indulging you. You were a bad big girl, so you will be punished as a big girl. Stop crying.”

Abbey cut off her last sob and sat up straighter, facing him. As much as she disliked her little girl punishments, they comforted her too, and she needed them. This punishment was needed too, but there was no way it was going to comfort her til it was over.

“Abbey, I need to know why you didn’t ask me. You always ask me, why didn’t you do it yesterday? And then why did you make it worse by lying to me?”

Abby gulped and softly whispered, “I don’t know.”

Jerry leaned forward, “That wont cut it this time, Abbey. You are a big girl, tell me now.”

Abbey nodded. This was part of her punishment, not being allowed to bring out her little girl side. She had to be a grown-up and take what was coming to her. When she was forgiven, she could be little and cuddle in her lover’s arms.

“I’m sorry Jerry. I was having a nice bath and thinking about our last weekend away at the beach.  I got all worked up and didn’t have time to ring you to ask before I started playing. And then I lied because I was so ashamed. I hate disappointing you.”

Jerry sighed, at least it wasn’t anything sinister. She wasn’t thinking of another man, she wasn’t angry or upset at him, she had just been a bit too needy. That he could deal with.

“Get up.”

She stood up next to the bed while he moved to sit at the edge of the bed. He moved her to between his legs. Jerry looked her straight in the eyes, “Isnt that why I tell you to ring before you start thinking about playing? So you don’t get worked up and forget?”

“Yes, Jerry, I understand why you say that now.”

“And then lying about it just made it worse.”

“Yes Jerry.” She could see in his face now, he wasn’t angry anymore. He understood it was just a moment of absent-mindedness, she would pay for it and then he could forgive her. Abbey’s world was righting it self once more.

“So this is what we are going to do.” Jerry looked into her face, to make sure she was listening carefully. This was a different kind of punishment, one to remember as a big girl.

“Abbey, you are going to get a punishment night tonight. You will go have a shower- no bath, no bubbles, no toys- you are a big girl now and you don’t get anything to comfort you. You will clean yourself and make sure you are shaven clean. I will then give you a punishment enema- to get you clean on the inside too. You will wear nothing, no little girl punishment nightie or little girl panties. You will wear nothing and be ashamed. You will then lie on the bed on your stomach, over the pillows I’ll lay out for you.”

“Yes Jerry.” Abbey started shaking again, overwhelmed with the harsh punishment.

“How many times did you cum without asking permission?”

“Three.”

“Well then, I’m going to cover your biggest bottom plug with vicks, to make your bottom sting and pump it in and out of your bottom for three whole minutes. You are going to take it and not reach back, or your palms will feel the bite of the wooden ruler.”

“You will then stand at attention in the middle of the room. Your hands will be on your head, you will stick your boobs out and your bottom out. I will be putting pegs on your nipples and on your pussy and on your tongue. Again, you will stand there and take it. You will listen carefully as I lecture you, as an adult. As much as I love your little girl side, you are going to take this punishment as an adult. If you don’t listen, you might even get a few slaps on your face.”

“After your lecture, you are going to get back on the bed again and you are going to be spanked as an adult. I’m going to use the paddle and the cane and maybe even that black riding crop, big punishments for a big girl. And, it’s not just going on your bottom, I’m going to smack your thighs, your legs, your breasts.”

“After all this Abbey, I’m  going to wash out your bottom. I don’t want to be punished for your wrongdoing. And then I am going to fuck you. And fuck you hard. In your pussy and in your bottom.”

Abbey continued sobbing, knowing any comfort and cuddles were a long way off.

Jerry took a deep breath, it was killing him not to comfort her, just let her be the little girl she wanted to be. But he knew she had to learn. If she wanted some big girl rights, she had to take on some big girl responsibility.

“Darling, you won’t be allowed to cum. If you cum, I WILL be whipping your pussy, do you understand?”

Abbey nodded, terrified at the thought.

“After all this, Abbey-love, you will be forgiven and you can have as many cuddles as you want. You can have a warm bath and I’ll brush your hair, put you in your jammies and you can have teddy and your binky. But we will be having a conversation as we cuddle and I want you to be thinking about your answer for your whole punishment. Okay?”

Abbey nodded again, stunned into silence.

“And what we will be talking about? Well, you will have a decision to make. I don’t want this to happen again, so you will decide. Are you a big enough girl for me to trust you to ask before you have a cum? If you are then, you will have a reminder week this week. Every night your tongue will be pegged for your lying and I will spank your pussy, just with my hand. I will then fuck you in the pussy and in your bottom and you will have no cumming rights for the rest of the week. If you aren’t a big enough girl for me to trust you then that’s fine but you will not allowed to play without me there with you. Ever again. Your reminder week this week will then be a reminder how little you are. Every night when you come home from work, you will be put into diapers and you WILL use them. You will get a hard bare bottom spanking and a long corner time. I will also wash your mouth out with soap. Do you understand?”

Abbey whimpered but stood up straight. She would make Jerry proud of her, show him that she could be a good girl. A good BIG girl, “Yes Jerry, I understand.”

Jerry steadied himself, “Then let’s begin my love.”

A Step Too Far

Just a warning. S is away this week, and with no one to chat, I'll probably be writing a few stories to keep me going. Here is the first one. The standard clauses apply. This is an ageplay story and not to be confused with a story about a real little girl. If you get offended by ths kindof thing, go away now.

“Turn the tv off.”

Abbey looked up from under her blanket, as she snuggled on the couch.

“I don’t wanna.”

Sam eyebrows furrowed, “Abbey, that’s the third time I’ve asked you, turn it off please, it’s time to do the lunch dishes.”

Abbey made a grizzling noise and turned her eyes back  to her cartoon movie.

Sam strode over to the tv, standing in front of it, “Love, you’re acting like a little girl.”

Abbey pouted, “I AM a little girl.”

Sam smiled, despite being cross, “Yes, honey, you are MY little girl, but I only like GOOD little girls, not naughty little girls.”

Abbey just glared at him and tried to watch the cartoon animals dance around Sam’s body.

Sam sighed and leaned over to switch it off.

Abbey shrieked, “NOOOOOOOOO!” diving off the couch and in the process spilling her cup of juice on the carpet.

Everything and everyone froze. The tv screen turned black and so did Sam’s face. His mouth opened in an “o” at his Abbey’s cranky tantrum. Abbey froze, her blanket falling around her legs, watching the juice seep into the blue carpet.

“Stay right there. Do. Not. Move.”

Abbey fingers crept into her mouth but she did as he said. Sam ran into the kitchen and grabbed some paper towels, running back into the living room and crouching down to soak up the mess. Luckily, it was only apple juice and wouldn’t stain. He rose up in front of Abbey, looking taller and taller by the second. He put his hands on his hips and stared at her with his “I’m-very-cross-stare.”

“I-sorry.” Abbey said around her fingers.

Sam tutted, “Someone is acting like a cranky little girl, and it has been going on far too long today.”

Sam walked to the couch and sat down, spinning Abbey around as he did, “And cranky little girls get a spanking.”

And then Abbey lost it, “No-no-no-no-no-no-nooooooooo!” She screamed, stamping her feet and thumping her little fists against the side of her thighs.

Sam watched this impressive little display with much interest. Recently, Abbey had arguing with many a spanking and he was getting quite sick of it, it was time to step it up a notch, bring in something he had threatened long ago, but never needed to bring out yet.

Same waited for a break in the screaming, and stated quietly but firmly, “Abbey you need to get over my lap right now or I think you need a much worse little girl punishment.”

Abbey, didn’t even blink an eyelid, just screwed up her face even further, and screamed louder.

Sam sighed, “Okay, Abbey, you asked for it.”

He grabbed her firmly by the ear, and started dragging her towards the back door, “Time to go outside.”

Abbey stopped in puzzlement, trying to think what punishment would await her outside. Then the light bulb clicked, remembering their long ago conversation. She dug her heels in and clung to Sam.

“No, Sam, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’ll take the spanking, please, no, please, not this.”

Sam shook his head as he led her out the back door and across the back of the house, “Too late babygirl. You’ll get your spanking. AFTER this.”

Abbey started sobbing and shaking her head furiously, “No, no, no, you can’t, it’s so embarrassing. Please, Sam, no, please.”

Same stopped at the junction between two walls of the outside of the house. He let his little girl go and turned her gently  towards him.

“You do what I say, now, or we can do this every night this week.”

Abbey’s eyes widened in horror, as a “please, no” escaped from her lips.

“Do you want to do this once or seven times?”

Abbey closed her eyes, “Once.” She whispered.  Her hands clasped in front of her and her eyes dropped to the floor.

“Is that how you talk to me?”

“No, sir.”

“Then, do you want to do this once or seven times?”

“Just once, please sir.”

Sam leaned around behind her and slapped her twice hard on her bare thighs, “You speak respectfully to me, please.”

“Yes sir.”

Sam stood up straight again, “Now, do I have your attention?”

Abbey nodded her head, “Yes Sam.”

“Good girl. Now, go and stand in the corner, please.”

Abbey’s shoulder’s dropped in resignation, and tears spilled silently down her cheeks as she walked slowly to the corner and faced into it, hands at her side.

Sam nodded. Good, he was getting through to her. “Now, Abbey, I’m doing this because a simple spanking just isn’t enough for you acting like such a little girl. I love your baby girl side, but I will not tolerate crankiness and rude behaviour, do you understand?”

A quiet “yessir” came from the corner.

“Good. Now lift up your skirt.”

Abbey reached to each side of her short skirt and slowly raised it above her bottom, showing off her cute little white panties. When her little side was about, lacy black thongs were always replaced with pink or white little-girl panties. Sam loved them both.

Sam let her wait like this for a few minutes, letting her feel the humiliation of being outside and being exposed, even though there was no way anyone else could see or hear them.

“Now,” Abbey’s body physically tensed up. Here was the worst of it. Here was her punishment. A punishment to suit a little girl.

Sam crossed his arms across his chest, “Now, babygirl, wet your panties please.”

A loud sob came from his baby’s mouth, this was the absolute punishment for her. Total humiliation and demotion in front of her partner and lover. She shuddered.

Same called out, “Abbey, you need to wet your panties like a little girl. I know you need to go, you drank that bottle of water and two cups of juice. Now, wet.your.panties.”

Abbey sobbed some more, pleading silently to be let off, she slightly stamped her feet, but only the tiniest bit. She still had a spanking to go after this.

“Abbey, five minutes, or . . . we do this all again tomorrow, and you can spend the next 24 hours in a nappy.”

Abbey closed her eyes in defeat. No way could she go shopping and do her errands, wearing a nappy, knowing that Sam would insist that she use it. Even now, she remembered the time she went too far and he made her wear a pull-up for 24 hours, making her ask to go to the toilet everytime and accompanying her and watching her pee in the toilet.

Abbey made herself relax, and fought against 26 years of toilet training, and started to let herself wet her panties.

Sam smiled as he watched his little girl wet herself. “See? This is what happens to naughty little girls. They get taken outside, stood in the corner and they have to wet their panties. Are you finished my dear?”

Abbey was sobbing again, “Yessir.” Her leg was sticky and wet and she was very uncomfortable.

Same stepped closer to her. “Well, you can stand there in your wet panties for five minutes facing the corner, and think about how you are going to be a good girl, then you can come inside. We’ll clean you off and do the dishes, then someone is due a spanking and a cuddle.”

The Worst Of The Worst

I was reading some blogs last night and one posed the question, what is the worst punishment your Dom/Daddy/lover could give you? There were the typical responses with harsh spankings or whippings with paddles, canes or straps. Some girls hated standing in the corner or writing lines.

But I think I have to agree with one girl, the worst punishment for me, would be to be ignored. To be not allowed to talk to S, to touch S, to not be in the same room as S. To be sent to my room in disgrace and to be alone and ignored by him. To not be given cuddles and kisses when I demanded them, to not be allowed to make him dinner (when he lets me) or wash his clothes. To be sent away. To have to sleep in a different bed, a different room. He even threatened to get a cot in our new house and make me sleep in there when Im naughty.

To not have him, even for 5 minutes, would be absolute torture. And if he ever gave me this punishment, I would know he was very angry or upset because he loves touching me and having me close- that it would be kinda punishment for him as well *shudder* I hope I never make him that upset.

Frustrated

I'm really busy and stressed at work right now. I got sick and then I got even further behind and hence even busier and more stressed. I'm just getting a handle on things now and I went in today (on a Saturday) to catch up with some things. I told myself that if I do a whole days work, then I can have Sunday off to relax. Well  I didnt. I procrastinated a whole lot, got a few things done and then, well, had a tantrum at work. Luckily, no one was around to witness it, but I was ready to throw the computer out the window. Its so very frustrating working after hours, day after day and not getting anywhere. I still feel a little sick (just a sore throat and headache) and the big thing that is due means a promotion, so everyone is being really supportive and encouraging, which makes it worse cos I feel bad when I just dont want to do it anymore :(

So anyway, I had enough and came home, resolving to just go to work on Sunday morning to catch up with what I didnt do today, cos I wouldnt have got anymore done with the way I was feeling. I came on chat to talk to S, wanting cuddles and kisses and sympathy, which I got, but its just not the same over a computer screen or over the phone and maybe thats not all I wanted. And I was still angry. I was kicking pillows around and throwing magazines off the bed to the floor and throwing my teddies around, just not feeling like a big girl, not wanting any responsibilties. S picked it up nearly straight away. Said I was acting like a baby and sent me to the corner to cool down. But after that, I came back and he asked me about how I acted and I said it was silly and he agreed and then he said, okay go have a cum and go play the sims (which is my fav game). And that was it!! He said its hard to punish me over the phone and I know it is, and I know I should feel real lucky I didnt get a punishment cos I DID tell him to shut up and go away. But now . . . I dont know, I feel sad. And my anger is bubbling away under the surface. I know it hasnt gone away, Im just trying to control it cos I shouldnt be rude to S or act like a baby.

Grrrrrr! I hate HATE HATE being away from S. If he was here, or I was there, Im sure I would have got in more trouble (or maybe if the footy game wasnt on) but I kinda feel like I got away with it. And while standing in the corner helped me a little bit, to calm down, I feel like it might boil to the surface again. And I just wanna cry and scream and stamp my feet and then hide under the covers on my bed. I dont wanna be an adult today.I just, I dont know . . . I wanna be in S's arms :(

I'm gonna do what he says and have a cum and play my game, maybe it wil help me get control of my feelings and calm down . . . .