Grrrr. Can't sleep. I said goodnight to S on chat ages ago, but I can't get to sleep. I even tried playing a bit and it made me sleepy, but then bam, wide awake again.
*sigh* S has started me on a healthy eating plan cos I asked him for help with my eating. I have no will power when it comes to eating, especially when I'm stressed, which I am now.
So, because I didnt keep to the eating plan that he set out today, I wasnt allowed chips as a treat tonight. And I really wanted chips. I had to have boring vegetables. But I want to please him so much, and I need to do it for myself to, so I'm determined to do the right thing tomorrow. I have a feeling, too, if I dont stick to it tomorrow, S will resort to more drastic measures. Maybe an enema. Eurgh. I detest enemas.
Giving myself an enema is usually okay, like it hurts when I do it, but being so empty afterwards feels good. But ohhh, when S give me one as a punishment? Oh I dont like it.
First up, is the embarrassment factor. Having him put a tube up my bottom is bad, pleading with him to let me go to the bathroom is worse, and having him watch me while I let it go is THE WORST. How embarrassing! It works though, I will do anything to not have him do that to me. And whats worse, although I the humiliation is bad at the time, it turns me on something bad- thinking about it. Having such a lil girl punishment as being watched while sitting on the toilet . . . I know he doesnt like watching me go, I mean, where's the turn-on factor in that? But he does it cos he knows it causes me embarrassment, which in turn teaches me a lesson in obedience and respect. He is so good to me, everything he does is to make me a better lil girl/sub.
Anyway, more about this later. Time to try to sleep and dream about my man xoxoxox
Monday, February 28, 2011
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Wet Panties
I wasn't going to write about this til tomorrow, but when you're in a writing mood . . .
The punishment I talked about in my last post, the one that you read and get all squirmy for but not sure whether you want to do it for real? And then your partner hears about it and plans to do it . . .when you are a VERY naughty girl.
So yeah, the punishment is . . . wetting my panties. Gross huh? Yeah I know, but I dont think its the actual wetting them thats turning me on, its the punishment and humiliation.
So yeah, when I have been very naughty and a normal spanking wont do it, S has promised to take me outside, make me stand in a corner, make me lift my skirt up and wet my panties, just like a little girl. He's then going to make me stand in my wet panties and apologise for whatever it is I did wrong, then he'll make me pull my wet panties down to my thighs, kneel and he's gonna wallop the hell out of my bottom.
Sigh. I dont know whether to look forward to it, or cringe. It's weird isnt, most punishments make you all wet and butterfly-y in the tummy, but when its actually happening, it turns into a real punishment, you dont want a spanking anymore, that finger in the bottom sounded good in a story but when its actually happening . . . no thankyou, I'll be a good girl from now on.
So yeah, the next time I'm in town with S, lets hope this lil girl stays on his good side :)
The punishment I talked about in my last post, the one that you read and get all squirmy for but not sure whether you want to do it for real? And then your partner hears about it and plans to do it . . .when you are a VERY naughty girl.
So yeah, the punishment is . . . wetting my panties. Gross huh? Yeah I know, but I dont think its the actual wetting them thats turning me on, its the punishment and humiliation.
So yeah, when I have been very naughty and a normal spanking wont do it, S has promised to take me outside, make me stand in a corner, make me lift my skirt up and wet my panties, just like a little girl. He's then going to make me stand in my wet panties and apologise for whatever it is I did wrong, then he'll make me pull my wet panties down to my thighs, kneel and he's gonna wallop the hell out of my bottom.
Sigh. I dont know whether to look forward to it, or cringe. It's weird isnt, most punishments make you all wet and butterfly-y in the tummy, but when its actually happening, it turns into a real punishment, you dont want a spanking anymore, that finger in the bottom sounded good in a story but when its actually happening . . . no thankyou, I'll be a good girl from now on.
So yeah, the next time I'm in town with S, lets hope this lil girl stays on his good side :)
Shower Punishment
Those of you in a long-distance D/s, ageplay, domestic discipline relationship will understand this, but god, sometimes it really hard to do self-punishments. S just doesnt belive I can self-spank hard enough to his liking, and he's right hehehe. So, we do the second best thing, corner time, enemas while he listens (god I hate enemas), putting big butt plugs in my bottom, pegs on the nipples . . . lovely things like that,that make me squirm and make me feel like such a naughty girl.
So anyway, I was arguing with him on chat last night. Yeah I know, stupid move. I do get in trouble a lot for arguing with him. And I said I was sorry and felt bad after I realised I was doing it. And I called him stubborn, which wow, very silly. Sooooo, he made me go stand in the corner with my panties pulled down while he thought of one of his very creative punishments.
He then asked me to get out of my jammies and into shorts and a tshirt and go into the bathroom. I couldnt imagine what he was going to do. He made me look in the mirror while he scolded me, which was horrible. I hate being told off. Makes me feel so ashamed. Then he made me go stand in the shower stall. My eyes widened, there's a punishment that he's been threatening me with for a lil while, after I confessed to reading a story about it while rubbing my penny. I'll write a post about it later. But anyway, was it going to be that??
No, it was worse I think, he made me turn on the cold cold water and stand under it, head and full body under it. Dunking me in cold water would make me stop arguing and god, he was right. I would have promised anything to get out of that freezing water. He made me stand there and just take it. God it was horrible, I hate, absolutely hate wearing wet clothes. He made me stand there and apologise to him over the speaker phone before I was allowed to get out.
There was more punishment after I got out and got myself warm again. But yeah, I learned my lesson- never argue with S.
So anyway, I was arguing with him on chat last night. Yeah I know, stupid move. I do get in trouble a lot for arguing with him. And I said I was sorry and felt bad after I realised I was doing it. And I called him stubborn, which wow, very silly. Sooooo, he made me go stand in the corner with my panties pulled down while he thought of one of his very creative punishments.
He then asked me to get out of my jammies and into shorts and a tshirt and go into the bathroom. I couldnt imagine what he was going to do. He made me look in the mirror while he scolded me, which was horrible. I hate being told off. Makes me feel so ashamed. Then he made me go stand in the shower stall. My eyes widened, there's a punishment that he's been threatening me with for a lil while, after I confessed to reading a story about it while rubbing my penny. I'll write a post about it later. But anyway, was it going to be that??
No, it was worse I think, he made me turn on the cold cold water and stand under it, head and full body under it. Dunking me in cold water would make me stop arguing and god, he was right. I would have promised anything to get out of that freezing water. He made me stand there and just take it. God it was horrible, I hate, absolutely hate wearing wet clothes. He made me stand there and apologise to him over the speaker phone before I was allowed to get out.
There was more punishment after I got out and got myself warm again. But yeah, I learned my lesson- never argue with S.
One year and counting . . .
Well I have decided to start this blog, to keep me going til S and I can be together 24/7. Its a rough road we've chosen, but we know that it just must be done to begin our dream next year. Dont you love how work just must come first sometimes?
For those who dont know us, S and I met on a spanking-friendly dating site and go to talking. He invited me out on a date, and from the moment I saw him, I just knew- this was the man I had been waiting for :) He spanked me over his lap that very first night, and yes I'm gonna say it. The rest is history. Lucky we get to see each other on weekends every 3-4 weeks, and we spend 2 weeks together every 10 weeks or so, so its better than some get. But, hey, cmon December, can't wait to be in his arms every night.
For those who dont know us, S and I met on a spanking-friendly dating site and go to talking. He invited me out on a date, and from the moment I saw him, I just knew- this was the man I had been waiting for :) He spanked me over his lap that very first night, and yes I'm gonna say it. The rest is history. Lucky we get to see each other on weekends every 3-4 weeks, and we spend 2 weeks together every 10 weeks or so, so its better than some get. But, hey, cmon December, can't wait to be in his arms every night.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)